Welcome to the Couples Counseling Page of Conflict Coaching and Consulting, PLLC
Sometimes the trouble in your relationship is so overwhelming that one can feel that the only choices are LEAVE, call the divorce attorney, or getting the psychologist. Maybe you are so at your wit's end that you were on the internet searching for both an attorney and a psychologist.
Getting married is a big step. Amid all the planning, counseling is often a last resort. It should not be. Experience has taught us that marriage is like a magnifying glass that WILL amplify any difficulties you have in your personal life. Couples either consciously or unconsciously believe that they must either change themselves or change the other person in order of the relationship to work.
You are not contemplating divorce or separation, but you are frustrated that your current relationship is not meeting up to your expectations. You are in a relationship, but you feel alone, always angry, unsatisfied, not valued, not heard, not taken seriously, or even ignored.
You have an anger problem, had an affair, been accused of being emotionally distant, or just been given an ultimatum to go to counseling or the relationship is over. You maybe even a woman seeking a counselor for your husband or boyfriend. You have come to the right place.
Why Couples Fight?
I want you to know that there is help out there. You do not need to feel “out of options.” There can be a resolution to the almost endless fighting in your home. Counseling can help. You may ask how? This question is especially crucial if you have seen a counselor before, and it failed. All couples counseling is not equal, especially when conflict is involved. After many years of working with individuals and couples, I have seen my fair share of fighting couples. I have also seen how couples armed with the right TOOLS, SKILLS, and KNOWLEDGE over time can restore and rejuvenate the relationship.
To make this happen three elements are required.
1) A couple who is willing to take the enormous emotional risk required to change current habits.
2) A counselor who has experience and training in change management, emotional intelligence,communication skills and conflict resolution.
3) A counselor with training in marriage and family therapy.
A Few Statistics About Divorce
Fact Number One
Did you know that 75 % of couples do not seek professional help before divorcing or separating?
Fact Number Two
Did you know that on average couples only attend 4 sessions of counseling before calling it quits?
Fact Number Three
Did you know that a national study found that 60% of divorced couples wished they had tried harder to save their relationship?
We Can help To Save
We use such an assessment that targets 9 major areas of concern in a relationship. The result of the assessment is a 25 page reports on you and your relationship with a guide to how to grow this relationship. Call us today at 704-804-0841 or simply click her to request an appointment.
Are your relationship problems too much for
you to handle on your own?
We can help to improve your relationship
We specialize in helping couples understand and resolve conflict using hard science. The reality is that there are known strategies that will bring you closer to your partner, and there are strategies that drive a wedge between you. Using a combination of assessments and research-based tools, we can teach you:
To be aware of the unseen forces that drive conflicts in your relationship.
Come to an understanding that belief systems drive conflicts..
Skill to effectively communicate your needs.
Skills to quickly and effectively resolve conflicts.
Gain insight on your role and value in the relationship.
How to gain consensus with your partner.
Are you a man being forced to attend
counseling or else?
Carlos Todd, Ph.D., LCMHC, our principal therapist, has worked with men and relationship issues for several years. For a man to come to counseling, several hurdles need to be addressed.
Men often feel comfortable talking to other men; this is why Dr. Todd has seen many men over the last several years with good success. Also, despite how it may appear, men struggle with anxiety and depression at high rates, manifesting as anger.
A skilled therapist will determine if this is the case and if any other factors may contribute to why conflict in the relationship. If you are a man reading this post, I encourage you to be open to the positive results possible with therapy, and if you are a woman reading this post, consider going to the first appointment with your partner.
Make The Call
The relationship you are looking for is possible with the help of a skilled professional. We can help. You don’t have to struggle with pain, fear, and confusion. You can be happier, your relationship can be better, your life can feel less chaotic, your home can become a place you look forward to being in, and finally, you can shake that feeling of failing at your relationship. Let us help.
We have learned from experience that it is not enough to ask couples to come in and just talk about their problems. We utilize a structured process by adapting the PREPARE-ENRICH assessment to ensure we know from the onset of the deficits in the relationship; then, we target each of these deficits over 6-8 weeks.
What Couples Can Achieve With
The Truth about Couples Conflict Resolution
The number one skill couples need for a successful relationship is conflict resolution. When you learn to resolve conflict you can address all the other problems in the relationship. With even the most basic conflict resolution skills couples can:
Learn stress management.
Learn the power of body language.
Use basic communication skill to get your thoughts across respectfully.
Become more empathetic.
Learn why self-care is an important conflict resolution techniques.
Learn how pass trauma drives conflict.
Dr. Carlos Todd
I have one simple vision: To leveraging my life experiences, sound clinical practice and a strong therapeutic relationship to resolve the pain in your life.
My My name is Carlos Todd, Ph.D., LCMHC, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and conflict management expert with over 15 years of experience. I was raised in high conflict, abusive home.
Consequently, I spent many years in therapy, seeking healing. Along the way, I also gained a formal education and the credential to offer others the healing that I now hold so dear. It is this journey that I consider to make me unique.
You can read more about my credentials. Otherwise, please read on to see what 15 years of experience have taught me about what matters to clients when searching for a couples’ counselor.
Common questions asked
What good will it do to work on my relationship alone?
This is a question I hear over and over again. While when an issue develops with a couple it is best that both parties attend counseling sometimes one person may need to lead the initiative to seek help the other party will follow along. The latter is not always the case but coming to counseling alone can help to build some momentum towards helping your partner feel more comfortable with the process. As you grow and develop new skill your partner may be spurred on join you especially as he/she seek the possible impact of therapy. The end result can be that you are not working on your relationship alone but you are taking the first step to working on the relationship together.
What if the problems are the other persons fault?
It is unlikely that one person alone is cause of the conflict in the home. There are dynamic in the interaction between you and your partner that EACH contributes to causing the conflict or making it more intense and long lasting. We have found that individuals who come to therapy to work out relationship problems often are supported at what and how they continued to making the relationship the way it is.