- Exercise regularity to help induce positive feelings
- Read a book
- Practice deep breathing
- Speak with a trusted friend
- Use positive by self-talk
- HALT! Determine if you irritable because you are hungry, lonely, tired etc.
- Take a long bubble bath
- Have sex with another willing participant
- Take a walk
- Talk about the issue
- Have a good cry
- Write down the pros and cons of dealing with the situation in the way you are considering
- Walk away NOW
- Go to a 24 hour establishment to clear your head.
- Remove yourself from the situation
- Go shopping
- Go out to dinner with friends
- Paint your nails
- Work on a project or hobby
- Spend time with someone special
- Do something special for someone else and keep it to yourself
- Use paint to create how you feel on paper
- Clean your home
- Mow your lawn
- Journal about the situation
- Listen to your favorite song/s
- Take a long drive through a very scenic area
- Go sit by a body of water and calm down
- Talk about what you are angry about
- Identify other emotions that you are truly feeling
- Ask yourself what is the real reason you are angry
- Go to the spa
- Seek professional help
- Learn to laugh
- Watch a comedy
- Dance
- Go to a night club and have fun
- Evaluate all of your current relationships
- Evaluate how people in your life handled anger when you were growing up
- Find out what are appropriate and inappropriate ways to express anger
- Play your favorite sport
- Forgive the person you are angry at
- Practice self-talk to calm down
- Replay in your head the positive way to deal with the situation that’s creating the anger
- Prepare one of your favorite meals
- Talk on the phone with someone to help you calm down
- Compose a story regarding the situation and develop two endings one that discusses what happens if you follow thru with your anger and one that explains what happens when you express your anger appropriately
- Find a place that is special to only you and imagine being there
- Smile, the more you smile, the more difficult it is to stay angry
- Have a massage
- Scream as loud as you can, then regroup
- Prayer
- Live your dreams (get unstuck)
- Count to ten
- Anger is a secondary emotions—always find out what is driving your anger
- Be always aware of your emotional state
- Check your perception of the situation
- Angry thinking creates anger. Think anger free thoughts to remain anger free
- Anger is a normal emotion-embrace it assuming that your anger is not hurting others
- Never follow another driver in anger
- Never listen to your angry self-talk
- Be aware of your emotional state
- Take breaks
- Avoid fatigue
- Take responsibility for your own actions
- Avoid the tendency to be always right
- Go for a long drive
- Go for a long walk
- Reduce stress
- Lower your expectations
- Mediate
- Walk away— repeated because this very important but hard to do.
- Avoid excessive use of alcohol
- Don’t be a follower. Following another person in the heat of an argument is a means of trying to control the situation and WILL create greater conflict.
- Talk out your problems
- Be prepared for life’s surprises
- Learn to laugh at yourself
- Go to anger management classes
- Visit www.laugh.org
- Visit www.masteringanger.com
- Improve your time management
- Avoid people that tend to increase your irritability
- Learn to communicate your needs
- Avoid passive aggressive behavior
- Improve money management
- You never have the right to hit someone—Never
- Get adequate sleep
- Behave at sporting events the same way you want your children to behave
- Stay clear of angry people
- Recognize that what you value or believe others may not
- Don’t procrastinate
- Be organized
- Don’t assume that because you said it other will do it—you are not the center of the universe
- Know your pet peeves
- Be open to the opinions of others
- Avoid excessive overtime
- Take time for yourself
- Compromise
- Remember that your needs are not always the most important
- Visit www.masteringconflict.com
by Carlos Todd, PhD, LPC
Dr. Carlos Todd maintains a private coaching, training, consulting, and counseling practice in Charlotte, North Carolina, and specializes in anger management, domestic violence, and conflict management. Learn more at www.carlostodd.com or www.masteringconflict.com
Dr. Carlos Todd, the founder of Conflict Coaching & Consulting, Inc. His passion is to equip couples, individuals and organizations with the skills and resources to effectively manage life’s conflicts. Dr. Todd is part of an elite group of individuals who can claim expertise in conflict management that has been tested by academic rigor. He completed doctoral studies in conflict management and has applied this training to address conflict in relationships as well as organizations. He has used this model to inform his ongoing work on couples conflict resolution. Dr. Todd is also a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) granted by the North Carolina Board of Licensed Professional Counselors in 2005 and is a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC) granted by the National Board Certified Counselors 2002.