Are you on the brink of calling the divorce attorney?
Sometimes the trouble in your relationship is so overwhelming that one can feel that the only choices are LEAVE, call the divorce attorney or calling the psychologist. May be you are so at your wits end that you were on the internet searching for both an attorney and a psychologist. Ultimately the choice to stay in a relationship or separate is yours to make but I want to share with you a few statistics.
Did you know that 75 % of couples do not seek professional help before divorcing or separating?
Did you know that on average couples only attend 4 sessions of counseling before calling it quits?
Did you know that a national study found that 60% of divorced couples wished they had tried harder to save their relationship?
I want you to know that there is help out there. You do not need to feel “out of options.” There can be resolution to the almost endless fighting in your home. Counseling can help. You may ask how? This question is especially important if you have seen a counselor before and it failed. All couples counseling is not equal especially when conflict is involved. After many years of working with individuals and couples I have seen my fair share of fighting couples. I have also seen how couples armed with the right TOOLS, SKILLS and KNOWLEDGE over time are able to restore and rejuvenate the relationship. To make this happen three elements are required.
A couple who is willing to take the enormous emotional risk required to change current habits.
A counselor who has experience and training in change management, emotional intelligence,communication skills and conflict resolution.
A counselor with training in marriage and family therapy.
We have all these requirements in our staff. Before you call it quits we want you to give us a call for a free consultation. Let us give you a new set of tool to restore your relationship.
Seeking relationship advice before the big wedding day?
Getting married is a big step. Amid all the planning counseling is often a last resort. It should not be. Experience has taught us that marriage is like a magnifying glass that WILL amplify any difficulties you have in your personal life. Couples either consciously or unconsciously believe that they must either change themselves or change the other person in order of the relationship to work. This need not be the case. Instead what if you there was a way to see where the deficits are in your relationship and target those deficits in a manner that makes the relationship so much more REWARDING. We use such an assessment that targets 9 major areas of concern in a relationship. The result of the assessment is a 25 page reports on you and your relationship with a guide to how to grow this relationship. Call us today at 704-804-0841 or simply click her to request an appointment.
Are your relationship problems too much for you to handle on your own?
You are not contemplating divorce or separation but you are frustrated that the relationship you are currently in is not meeting up to your expectations. You are in a relationship but you feel alone, always angry, unsatisfied, not valued, not heard, not taken seriously or even ignored. It does not have to be this way. Your main questions may be, “Can I improve my relationship with your partner despite the fact that we fight so often? How do we make this fighting and arguing stop and get back to connecting again? ” There are real answers to these questions. We specialize in helping couples understand and resolve conflict using hard science. The reality is that there are known strategies that will bring you closer to your partner and there are strategies that drive a wedge between you. Using a combination of assessments and research based tools we can teach you:
To be aware of the unseen forces that drive conflicts in your relationship.
Come to an understanding that belief systems drive conflicts.
Skill to effectively communicate your needs.
Skills to quickly and effectively resolve conflicts.
Gain insight on your role and value in the relationship.
How to gain consensus with your partner.
Common questions asked by clients
What good will it do to work on my relationship alone?
This is a question I hear over and over again. While when an issue develops with a couple it is best that both parties attend counseling sometimes one person may need to lead the initiative to seek help the other party will follow along. The latter is not always the case but coming to counseling alone can help to build some momentum towards helping your partner feel more comfortable with the process. As you grow and develop new skill your partner may be spurred on join you especially as he/she seek the possible impact of therapy. The end result can be that you are not working on your relationship alone but you are taking the first step to working on the relationship together.
What if the problems are the other persons fault?
It is unlikely that one person alone is cause of the conflict in the home. There are dynamic in the interaction between you and your partner that EACH contributes to causing the conflict or making it more intense and long lasting. We have found that individuals who come to therapy to work out relationship problems often are supported at what and how they continued to making the relationship the way it is.
Are you a man being forced to attend counseling or else?
You have an anger problem, had an affair, been accused of being emotionally distant or just been given an ultimatum to go to counseling or the relationship is over. You may be even a women seeking a counselor for your husband or boyfriend. You have come to the right place. Dr. Carlos Todd our principal therapist has worked with men and relationships issues for several years. For a man to come to counseling there are a number of hurdles that need to be addressed.
Men often feel comfortable talking to other men this is why Dr. Todd has seen a large number of men over the last several years with good success. Also despite how it may appear men struggle with anxiety and depression at high rates which can manifest itself as anger. A skilled therapist will be able to determine if this is the case and if there are any other factors that may be contributing to why conflict in the relationship. If you are a man reading this post I encourage you tube open to the positive results that are possible with therapy and if you are a woman reading this post consider going to the first appointment with your partner. That can be a great help.
Make the call
The relationship you are looking for is possible with the help of a skilled professional. We can help. You don’t have to struggle with pain,fear and confusion. You can be happier, your relationship can be better, your life can feel less chaotic, your home can become a place you look forward to being in and finally you can shake that feeling of failing at your relationship. Let us help. Give us all call at 704-804-0841 or schedule an appointment by clicking HERE.
We have learned from experience that it is not enough to ask couples to come in and just talk about their problems. We utilize a structured process by adapting the PREPARE-ENRICH assessment to ensure we know from the onset the deficits in the relationship, then we target each of these deficits over the course of 6-8 weeks.
The Truth about Couples Conflict Resolution
The number one skill couples need for a successful relationship is conflict resolution. When you learn to resolve conflict you can address all the other problems in the relationship. With even the most basic conflict resolution skills couples can:
Learn stress management.
Learn the power of body language.
Use basic communication skill to get your thoughts across respectfully.
Become more empathetic.
Learn why self-care is an important conflict resolution techniques.
Learn how pass trauma drives conflict.
We take the position that conflict is an important and necessary force in the growth in any relationship. Conflict is simply a signal that your relationship must grow pasts it current point. Part of resolving conflict is having a different perspective on conflicts role in a relationship. That is what we help with. We have unfortunately seen too many couples who fear conflict and or just don’t understand its dynamics and as a result fail to move beyond the current impasse.
For conflicts to be resolved we must first understand the underline message associated with the conflict and use that information to set goals to better the relationship. If you need help resolving conflicts in your relationship give us a call today at 704-804-0841 or request an appointment.
Meet your Counselor
My name is Dr. Carlos Todd, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and conflict management expert with over 15 years of experience. I was raised in a high conflict, abusive home. Consequently, I spent many years in therapy–healing. Along the way I also gained a formal education and the credential to offer others the healing that I now holds so dear. It is this journey that I consider makes me unique. You can read more about my credentials. Otherwise, please read on to see what 15 years of experience have taught me about what matters to clients when they are searching for a couples’ counselor.
Therapy is often feared especially now as you face the pain of a failing relationship. If you are a woman reading this you may be afraid that your spouse will not be willing to come to counseling. You may even be wondering if this counselor is a good fit for your situation. If you are a man reading this you may be upset that you are being forced to find a counselor. Don’t be afraid I have heard and seen a lot and I am good at helping couples feel comfortable in what can be a very anxiety provoking situation.
I want you to make the call 704-804-0841 and if calling is too anxiety provoking request an appointment and send me an instant private message. I will respond. These next steps may be first of many steps you will make to change your life. Therapy is about you and/or your partner having a safe place to recreate the best life. My job is to utilize my training in anger, conflict, anxiety and depression to help individuals restore their relationships and personal lives its MOST fulfilled state. Take the first step towards making the pain stop.
I have one simple vision: To leveraging my life experiences, sound clinical practice and a strong therapeutic relationship to resolve the pain in your life.
I was raised in a high conflict, abusive home. Consequently, I spent many years in therapy healing. Along the way I also gained a formal education and the credential to offer others the healing that I now holds so dear. It is this journey that I consider makes me unique.